Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
