I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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