Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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