Well douche your snatch and let's go!
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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