Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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