Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
and she was petting her beer can
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
