What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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