I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
