So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
