Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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