I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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