Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
This is my gift to your gina
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize