Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
