"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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