My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
