she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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