I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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