Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
