Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
