Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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