He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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