i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize