Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
