just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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