im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
