so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
