Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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