I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
