Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I am spending my child support on dildos
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Randomize
