we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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