Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
