If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
