Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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