Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
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