im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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