I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
