Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
