someone owes me an orgasm
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
