I must be too annoying 4 u.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
