i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
