what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
