margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
