WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
