Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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