I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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