It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
