you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
When are your genitals available?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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