sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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