The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize