I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
