There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
