so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Randomize
