did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
