Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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