Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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