I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
