its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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