is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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