when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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