Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
