well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
