He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
