i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
