Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
