loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
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I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
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this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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