go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
