before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
