I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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